Why Alpha Men Don't Participate in No Nut November
The only thing gayer than no nut November is fapping when you have a girlfriend or wife.
Author: Ryan Felman
Writer, Spartan Racer, Self-Improvement Coach
If you're an alpha man, you laugh at the plebs talking about No Nut November. This is the month where guys take a break from watching porn and act as if it’s a real accomplishment. Most men today think that the key to being a good man is to simply avoid bad habits.
No Nut November is a complete waste of time created for men who have absolutely no control over their sexual energy combined with a complete lack of options in the dating department.
For 11 months of the year, these men will touch their penis while staring at pixels on their screen. Then for November, they challenge themselves to abstain from nutting (that's internet lingo for ejaculating) whether it be with porn or with a woman. This is the sad state of men in the digital world.
To be clear, my issue with No Nut November is the idea of abstaining from sex with your girlfriend or wife over some dumb internet challenge. (Yes, there really are men doing this right now) This is where guys overdose on red pills. They spend too much time online reading about how to be an alpha, that they completely miss the point of being one. An alpha doesn't care what some Reddit dweebs are doing. He's too busy living his life. And if your girl has a strong sex drive, you're driving her into the arms of a guy like me who will be having sex in November.
What is No Nut November and how did it start?
The Urban Dictionary definition dates back to 2011. It gained popularity in 2017 with the "nofap" community on Reddit. This is a group of men who formed a group to quit masturbating. It's essentially Alcoholics Anonymous but for porn. The subreddit group has over a million followers.
This all started as a good idea. But many in the group consider sex to be off limits for No Nut November too. Imagine trying to explain this to your wife: "Babe, these guys on the internet and I are doing a challenge where we don't have sex. I have to keep my streak going. You know I support you with your Snapchat streak!"
If you have high testosterone, you should have a high sex drive. And that's a good thing! But you need to learn how to direct it in a positive direction. You should not abstain entirely or give in to your base impulses every time some busty bimbo dances on Tik Tok. Social media is full of thirst traps and this triggers your porn addiction.
Delete Tik Tok. It's Chinese spyware and a waste of time.
On Instagram, hit the 3 dots and hit "not interested" whenever these THOTs show up. This will train the algorithm to stop posting "thirsty content."
And if you follow any of these girls that post slutty content, unfollow them. In fact, unfollow all girls that don't follow you back. If she doesn't care that you exist, why do you care about her?
Do I have control over my sexual energy? Not really, if I'm being honest. Few Alpha men have control over their sexual energy. They don't think like normal men do.
Most high value men have never even heard of No Nut November. They're too busy focusing on their mission. They are driven and live such an interesting life that women simply appear in their lives.
They don't even use dating apps because they spend enough time in the real world. If you think dating apps are a good method to meet girls, you're spending too much time on your phone or computer. Unplug man. Get out and enjoy the real world.
Even Hank Moody, Californication's debaucherous womanizer of a writer is "not much of a porn guy." In the show he hooks up with a porn star and doesn't recognize her because he doesn't watch porn. She assumes he recognized her because almost all guys watch porn now.
Porn has become so accessible that it has gone mainstream. It's no coincidence that the rise of porn acceptance coincides with the widespread adoption of the smartphone.
The mass adoption of porn coincides with iPhone screens getting larger. Video games becoming mainstream and women becoming gamers. Social media became so pervasive in everyone's life as the smartphone found its way into everyone's hands. As the world adopted the smartphone, many bad habits came with it. Accessibility led to mainstream adoption. Unfortunately, this led to increased porn use.
The metaverse is already real and you might be stuck living in it. I'm getting older so I always call it the Matrix, but it's the same idea. A person who is so plugged in to the online world, that they live more in the digital world than the real world. These are the people most likely to be taking part in No Nut November.
So How Do You Channel Your Energy in a Positive Way?
For one, you don't abstain from having sex with your girlfriend or wife. If this is someone you love, or at least have strong feelings for, then embrace it. This is natural for a healthy relationship.
Channel your energy into your workouts. This may be lifting weights, hitting the trails for a run or some other form of activity. Many young men will use porn to help them go to sleep. Most of these people live sedentary lives and struggle to fall asleep. Exercise enough during the day, and you'll pass out at bed time. The last thing you want to do before going to bed is stare at your phone.
Focus your energy on your gains. Hitting the gym will release your physical energy. You may find you even have more energy for your workouts.
Focus your drive on building your business, reading self help books or working at your job. You can focus your thoughts and mental fortitude into creative outfits.
Focus your time on what really matters. In the moment, you may want a short term release, but you'll become more confident if you are focusing on what you really want rather than what you want right now.
If you quit porn, you'll literally rewire your brain. You'll have more energy to direct into better habits. And most importantly, women will subconsciously notice the change and be more attracted to you.
Porn is making you creepy. It warps your thoughts and changes the way you view women. Guys who watch too much porn only have one thing on their mind. This turns women off and makes you socially awkward.
When you focus your energy on more positive endeavors, you become interesting and attractive. Your mind will literally view the world differently.
Alpha man don't waste their energy watching girls on a screen. They are out in the real world meeting real women. And they aren't talking about No Nut November. This is a waste of time and energy.
If you have a girlfriend or a wife, you should be connecting on a sexual level. No Nut November is mental masturbation... without the masturbation.
Obviously I applaud men for quitting porn and masturbation, but not having sex at all? That's too far.
Imagine this. You meet this cute girl at the coffee shop and you two are hitting it off. You take her on a couple of dates and then you two take an Uber back to your apartment. You put some music on and she starts dancing with you. You're making out and she unzips her dress. Then you tell her you can't have sex because you're doing this "No Nut November" challenge.
What will she think? She'll think you're a weirdo at best or a sex addict at worst. She's probably going to leave and then ghost you. But hey, at least you kept your streak alive! Right?
So many of these challenges start out as good ideas but socially awkward guys take them too far. It's OK to live your life.
You'll hear me talk about how you shouldn't drink too much, but I'll still grab a beer with my friends after a great run. I have zero interest in doing the cold shower thing. And while I avoid seed oils, occasionally I eat food that has seed oils in the ingredients. All things in moderation, including moderation.
I see too many guys make things awkward by blindly obeying what their favorite guru said online. A man knows how to think for himself. And if you turn down a woman that you're attracted to, something got lost in translation. The whole point of quitting porn should be to make you a better man. To make you more attractive to women.
Why is Porn Such a Problem For Men?
The percentage of men under 30 not having sex has tripled in the last decade. But people still defend porn as if it doesn't have serious negative effects.
Men resort to porn due to lack of options. Porn is their consolation prize.
You often hear men complain about girls only being attracted to guys with 6 packs, 6 figures and 6 feet tall. This is a cop out excuse by men who don't want to do the work.
Red Pill Forums and Social Media will tell you that women are hypergamous and not interested in betas. This sounds intelligent but it's not entirely true. It frames the dynamic as if a man is either born a beta or born an alpha.
And if you spend all your day reading some angry nerd's internet blog, you might even start to hate women. This is a sign that you need to change the content you're consuming. You're overdosing on red pills.
I understand how frustrating it can be when it seems that women only date assholes. Bridget Phetasy said it best. "She dates assholes because you're a pussy." (NSFW Obviously)
Guys who say girls only like assholes are lazy. Girls don’t like assholes. They like rich and jacked dudes. And these dudes can afford to be assholes. Girls like them in spite of being assholes, not because of it.
If she can walk all over you, then what's going to happen when a real threat approaches you two on the streets? Are you going to protect her? You can talk all day about how modern life is more civilized but this is a childish dream. The world is still dangerous. And deep down in our lizard brain, women are still attracted to the warrior who will defend her if shit ever goes down.
So are you destined to be forever alone if you don't make $100,000 or are sub 6 feet tall? Of course not! The biggest problem with being shorter, poorer or your lack of abs is your mindset about these issues.
If you exude confidence, women will be curious about you. I know plenty of men who have none of these things and they consistently have beautiful women in their lives. My brother is 5'7 and he always had a dime for a girlfriend. He was a fun guy who was very confident in himself.
If you have a defeatist attitude about your height or other nonsense that is out of your control, then yeah, finding a nice girl will be tough for you. But it's a problem of your own creation.
It's easier to say the system is rigged against short guys, than it is to do the work to make yourself into a high value man. Which you 100% can do.
The real problem isn't your height. It's your lifestyle. If you spend your days playing video games, watching porn and working a boring job, you're not going to be an attractive option for the girl of your dreams. You need to spend your energy on what really matters. Get yourself in shape. Find a hobby that will get you out in the real world meeting people.
I hear so many guys complain to me that gaming is a real hobby and a social one. Sure, whatever you want to believe big guy. But if you meet a beautiful girl, and she asks you what you did last weekend, what do you have to say? "Oh I just stayed in my dark apartment playing Call of Duty all day." She's going to think you're boring. But if you find an exciting hobby or at least do something fun, she'll be attracted to you.
This used to be me! When I was younger, I spent a ton of time playing video games and it was hard to present myself as an interesting person. Then I started writing online, running Spartan Races and traveling more often.
Now I have genuinely interesting stuff to talk about when I meet people. And this has allowed me to me meet higher quality people. The people that I meet up with to run are elite. Online, I have group chats with other entrepreneurs and business owners. If you want to meet more interesting people, you're going to have to live an interesting life yourself.
If you're tired of your porn addiction and ready to quit today, I recommend this guide by my friend Adam Smith. He's a licensed counselor who understands the psychology of addiction and he's helped countless men quit porn.
And if you want a more personal touch, I offer coaching to help men quit porn, meet girls and become high value men. Click here for more info.
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