20 Ways To Be More Masculine
Imagine the ideal life you want. From there find the steps you need to achieve this goal. Then break it down into daily actions. These are the habits you need to form to achieve your ideal life
Author: Ryan Felman
Writer, Spartan Racer, Self-Improvement Coach
Stop wasting your 20s getting drunk and playing video games all weekend
If you want to make 6 figures in your 30s, open this:
This will change your life
1. Replace the bars with the gym
Everything starts with your health and fitness. You need to make this your number one priority.
Exercise is an essential ingredient in achieving overall health and wellness, and the gym is essential for the man looking to become more masculine. If you are still not convinced, let me tell you why going to the gym should be an integral part of your daily routine.
The gym is the perfect place to improve your physical health. Exercise provides numerous benefits to the body, including lower blood pressure, lower levels of bad cholesterol, and maintenance of a healthy weight. Regular exercise can also help prevent numerous health problems, including heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and some cancers.
Additionally, going to the gym improves your mental health, as exercise releases endorphins that can boost your mood and reduce stress. Exercise can also help prevent depression and anxiety and improve overall cognitive function.
Hitting the gym can also provide a sense of community and socialization, which can help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. The gym is a great place to meet like-minded individuals who share your passion for health and fitness. As you work towards your fitness goals together, you can motivate each other to keep going and celebrate each other's successes.
2. Reverse engineer your ideal life
Imagine the ideal life you want. From there find the steps you need to achieve this goal. Then break it down into daily actions. These are the habits you need to form to achieve your ideal life.
Reverse engineering your ideal life through daily habits is a powerful strategy that allows you to break down big goals into small, actionable steps.
First identify the lifestyle you want to live. Then determine the habits that will help you achieve that lifestyle. Finally create a plan to follow those habits consistently.
For example, if your ideal life involves being healthy and fit, you might develop daily habits such as exercising for 30 minutes and meal prepping your lunches. Over time, these small habits can lead to significant changes in your life and help you achieve your goals.
By taking control of your daily habits, you can take control of your life and create the future you've always wanted.
3. Master the art of self-discipline
Develop habits that align with your goals and values. Delay instant gratification in pursuit of long-term fulfillment. This is the key to escaping the path of mediocrity and becoming a high value man.
Becoming more self-disciplined is an essential skill for anyone who wants to achieve their goals and lead a successful life. It involves the ability to control your impulses, focus on your priorities, and stay committed to your tasks.
This may not come natural to you, but it can be learned and developed over time with consistent practice and effort.
The key is to start small and gradually increase the difficulty of your challenges as you become more confident in your abilities. This may involve setting daily goals, creating a routine or schedule, avoiding distractions, and holding yourself accountable for your actions.
By cultivating self-discipline, you can build confidence, increase your productivity, and ultimately achieve the success you desire.
4. Choose your friends wisely
You’re the average of your five closest friends. You’re the average fitness of them too. Find friends who share your goals and values. Build a strong network of elite friends.
This is one of the most important decisions you can make in life.
Your friends are a reflection of who you are and can greatly influence your behavior and habits. If you want to stay disciplined and successful, it's important to surround yourself with winners.
Seek out friends who are driven, disciplined, and maintain high standards for themselves.
These friends will not only motivate and inspire you, but will also hold you accountable for your actions, and encourage you to strive for more.
By surrounding yourself with a strong support system who shares your goals and values, you'll create an environment that fosters growth, achievement, and success.
5. Take ownership for your actions
Own up to your mistakes. Stop blaming others for your own problems. Accountability is the difference between a boy and a man.
This is a crucial aspect of personal growth and responsibility. By acknowledging our mistakes and being accountable for the consequences of our choices, we can learn from our experiences and make better decisions in the future.
Without taking ownership, we risk blaming others for our failures or avoiding the necessary steps to rectify a situation.
By accepting responsibility, we show integrity, maturity, and a willingness to learn from our mistakes. It’s not always be easy, but owning up to your actions is a crucial step towards becoming a better version of yourself.
6. Be assertive
Stand up straight. Look people in the eye. Speak confidently and slowly. Make your words meaningful and people will listen. The average man in his 20s can’t do any of these.
Do this and you will stand out in a sea of average men.
This skill will have a profound impact on your life. When you are assertive, you’re better able to communicate your needs and boundaries. This means you are more likely to get what you want.
Most guys struggle with being assertive. They worry about coming across as pushy or aggressive, or fear conflict.
The truth is that assertiveness is not about being confrontational; it's about being confident in expressing yourself and advocating for your needs in a respectful way.
By practicing assertiveness, you can build stronger relationships, gain more respect from others, and ultimately live a more fulfilling life.
7. Stop gaming so much
If your weekend is spent inside playing games all day, you’re living a boring life. Find hobbies that make you healthy or wealthy. This makes you more interesting and more attractive. If you game, moderate your time and get your training done first.
Are you tired of spending countless hours in front of your computer or TV playing video games? Do you feel like your time could be better spent on more productive activities? Then you are playing video games too much.
Excessive video gaming has been show to have negative effects on your mental health. Leading to addiction, depression, and anxiety. Spending too much time in front of a screen can also cause eye strain, headaches, and a lack of quality sleep.
Constantly playing video games hinders your social life. Building relationships and connecting with others in real life is essential to your well-being and personal growth. Video games, on the other hand, isolate you from the outside world and can cause you to neglect your social life.
Excessive video gaming takes away from time that could be spent on pursuing your passions, hobbies, and goals. Don't let video games become a distraction from what truly matters to you. Instead, invest your time in activities that align with your values and bring you closer to achieving your dreams.
Quit playing video games so much and start living a more fulfilling and productive life. You’ll be a happier person from it, you’ll meet more girls and you’ll have more time for more interesting hobbies.
Your mental health, social life, and personal growth are worth more than hours of screen time.
8. Eat real food
No energy? Overweight? Unhealthy? Change your diet and change your life. Your mood will improve too. Drink plenty of water. Eat your protein first. Balance your diet with fruit and veggies. Cut out processed food, sugar and seed oils.
Since quitting seed oils, I've dropped 7 pounds in the last month. I have been performing better in the gym and on my runs. A week ago, I set a new PR (Personal Record) for my 5K with a time of 25:12. Not bad for a guy who can bench 300. My mile time is improving too. I ran a 6:59 mile last week
Since quitting seed oils, I even felt a genuine shift in my mood. I feel happier, more laid back and energetic. I am slower to anger. It feels like problems and petty things that used to irritate me just bounce right off of me. I’m calm and sincerely happier.
Am I sticking to this diet 100%? No. I’m not. But I’m very close. Occasionally I’ll go out to eat and maybe order something with unhealthy seed oils. But this is on rare occasions. Even when I do go out, I typically order healthy food that isn’t fried. And after eating this way for so long, it’s becoming a habit.
I don’t feel like I’m missing out. My body craves good food. And when you know that unhealthy food will make you sick, make your body perform worse and cause weight gain, you really don’t want to go back.
It’s truly paradigm shifting. You realize that 99% of the western world is eating in such a way that it makes them fat, miserable and unhappy. But they don’t know any better. It’s what they’ve always done.
For more on eating healthy, check out Why You Should Stop Eating Seed Oils.
9. Quit chasing girls
Unfollow all girls who won’t follow you back. They don’t deserve your attention. If she won’t text you back, delete her number. Focus on your mission first. Girls should be an afterthought as you’re still building your life.
Most men obsess over what they can’t get. And for many, this means women. If you’re chronically online, then you don’t meet a lot of women. And let’s face it. The average guy in his 20s is constantly playing video games, aimlessly scrolling online or watching porn. None of these habits are a recipe to meet quality women.
So what can you do? Stop being average.
If you want to meet women, you need to log off and go outside in the real world. Don’t even try to meet women. Rather, find active hobbies that involve you getting out of your apartment and socializing. This creates an organic environment to meet people. This is what the world was like before online dating. And despite the ramblings of men online, you don’t need a dating app to meet women.
Go outside. It’s nice out here.
10. You can’t save her
Almost every guy falls for a girl with blue hair, septum piercing and excessive tattoos. It usually ends in flames. You can’t fix her. Don’t try. She will tear your life apart.
In the animal kingdom, bright colors are used to warn other animals of a predator. This tactic is called aposematism and women with bright, unnaturally colored hair employ the same technique.
A bad women will ruin your life worse than anything else you can do. She will make you jealous, anxious and you’ll constantly be dealing with her drama and self-imposed problems.
Conversely, if you find a good woman she will complement your life and make everything easier. Choose your spouse carefully gentlemen.
11. Stop being so cheap
Tip well. Dress well. Eat well. Drink well. Invest in yourself and in others. Your choices reflect your values, so choose wisely. Buy better and buy less.
Seek out quality over quantity in every aspect of life, from your wardrobe to your relationships. Become a connoisseur, not a mindless consumer. Learn to appreciate the finer things, not just in material goods, but in experiences, knowledge, and character. Focus on the important stuff and avoid what’s unnecessary.
In a world full of distractions, prioritize what truly matters: your health, your growth, and your purpose. Strip away the superfluous, and make room for what elevates your life and drives you toward becoming the best version of yourself.
12. Be resilient
A man is tough and can take the punches this life gives. He stands firm in the face of adversity, knowing that every challenge is a test of his character. Failure is just a learning opportunity on the way to a life of excellence.
Each setback is a stepping stone, refining his resolve and sharpening his skills. Show me a man that never fails, and I'll show you a man that never pushes the envelope. True strength lies in the willingness to risk, to step beyond the comfort zone, and to embrace the unknown.
A man who never fails is a man who never strives, and without striving, there can be no growth. The path to greatness is paved with scars, earned through persistence, resilience, and the unyielding pursuit of one's highest potential.
13. Outlast the bastards
If you show up every day and persist, you’ll succeed. Consistency is the bedrock of achievement. It’s not always about being the most talented or the smartest in the room; it’s about being the one who endures, who keeps pushing forward even when the odds seem stacked against you.
Others will quit, get fired, move away. Life will test everyone, and most will falter along the way. They’ll lose sight of their goals, succumb to distractions, or simply give up when the path gets too hard. But if you remain steadfast, if you keep showing up, you separate yourself from the pack.
Eventually, you’ll become the most experienced guy. Time is the great equalizer. By consistently putting in the work, you accumulate knowledge, skills, and wisdom that only come through sustained effort. You’ll see the challenges others haven’t faced, solve problems they’ve never encountered, and gain insights they never will. And then you become the most important guy.
With experience comes value. People will look to you for guidance, respect your judgment, and rely on your expertise. In a world full of quitters, the one who perseveres inevitably rises to the top. Your persistence not only earns you success but also the respect and recognition that come with being a cornerstone of your field or community. In the end, it's not just about what you achieve—it's about the legacy you build through relentless dedication.
14. Stop watching porn
Women can tell when you watch porn. They might not be able to pinpoint exactly what it is, but they sense something is off. They don’t know, but they get a vibe. Your energy changes; there’s a subtle shift in how you interact with them.
Regular porn users often exude a lack of authenticity, coming across as disconnected or even desperate. Regular porn users come across as creepy. The constant consumption of artificial, hypersexualized content warps your perception of reality and damages your ability to connect with real women on a genuine, emotional level.
Quit porn and watch your confidence with women explode. When you free yourself from the chains of porn, you regain your mental clarity and self-respect. You start engaging with women as real people, not objects to fulfill fantasies. This shift in perspective transforms your interactions, making you more confident, present, and charismatic. It is a waste of time and it’s fucking up your mind.
Porn is a trap that steals your time, drains your energy, and distorts your mind. It lowers your ambition, kills your drive, and creates unrealistic expectations that no real relationship can satisfy. Cut it out, and you'll find that your focus sharpens, your goals become clearer, and your interactions with women—and people in general—become far more meaningful.
Breaking free from porn is not just about improving your relationships; it’s about reclaiming control over your mind, your time, and your life.
15. Start writing
My life really began to change when I started writing. It wasn't just about putting words on a page; it was about finding clarity in the chaos. Writing helped me organize my thoughts, set clear goals, and map out the path I needed to take to achieve them. It helped me organize my thoughts and goals. As I wrote, I could see my priorities take shape, and the more I wrote, the more I understood myself and what I truly wanted out of life.
I tracked my progress and saw noticeable improvements. Writing became a tool for self-accountability. By documenting my journey, I could look back and see how far I'd come, reinforcing my commitment to keep pushing forward. Each entry was a reminder that growth is possible with consistent effort.
And writing became a new source of income when I published online. What started as a personal exercise turned into something much larger. I began sharing my story, my struggles, and my triumphs online, and to my surprise, it resonated with others. People connected with my journey, and my audience grew. This led to the creation of my brand, PathToManliness, and eventually, I wrote and published Reclaim Your Manhood, a book designed to turn your life around, now available on Amazon.
Through writing, I not only transformed my life but also built a platform that empowers others to do the same. What began as a way to track my own progress evolved into a mission to help men reclaim their lives, their purpose, and their masculinity. Writing has not only been therapeutic but also a powerful tool for connection, influence, and financial independence.
16. Read books
Every basic dude is spending his weekends gaming, drinking, and watching sports. It’s the default mode for many—a cycle of temporary thrills and distractions that fill the void but rarely lead to real growth. There’s nothing wrong with these things in moderation. Enjoying a game, a few drinks with friends, or watching your favorite team play can be fun and even relaxing. But if that’s all you’re doing, you’re missing out on opportunities to elevate yourself beyond the ordinary.
Reading books will make you more interesting—it’s a simple yet powerful way to break out of the basic routine. Books introduce you to new ideas, perspectives, and worlds that you may never encounter otherwise. They can spark conversations that go beyond the superficial and allow you to connect with others on a deeper level.
Reading books will also expand your vocabulary as well as your knowledge. The words you consume shape the way you think and communicate. By immersing yourself in quality literature, you’ll naturally improve your language skills, making you a more articulate and persuasive individual. And it’s not just about sounding smarter—it’s about being able to express yourself clearly and effectively, which is crucial in all areas of life.
But more than just words, books expand your knowledge. They allow you to tap into the minds of great thinkers, leaders, and storytellers. You gain insights that can inform your decisions, inspire your actions, and broaden your understanding of the world. Whether you’re reading about history, philosophy, self-improvement, or fiction, each book adds a new layer to your intellectual arsenal, setting you apart from those who spend their weekends in the same old routine.
By choosing to read, you’re investing in yourself. You’re committing to growth and pushing beyond the confines of the average. While others are content to stay in their comfort zones, you’re equipping yourself with the knowledge, skills, and mindset to pursue a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. And that’s what ultimately sets you apart from the crowd.
17. Embrace a growth mindset
Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow and improve. Life will inevitably throw obstacles in your path, but it’s your response to these challenges that defines you. Rather than shying away from difficulties or seeing them as setbacks, view them as opportunities to test your limits, learn new skills, and become stronger. Each challenge you face is a chance to refine your character and push closer to the person you aspire to be.
Believe in your ability to grow through effort and perseverance. Growth isn’t just about talent or natural ability; it’s about the determination to keep moving forward, even when the road gets tough. By cultivating a mindset that values effort over outcome, you’ll begin to see challenges as part of the process of becoming better. Whether it’s in your career, relationships, or personal development, trust that with sustained effort and a refusal to give up, you can overcome any obstacle and achieve your goals.
Maintain the discipline and drive to keep pushing yourself to greater heights. It’s easy to become complacent when things are going well, but true growth comes from continually challenging yourself to go beyond what you thought was possible. Discipline is the foundation that supports your ambitions—without it, motivation can wane, and progress can stall. Commit to a daily practice of pushing your boundaries, whether it’s through physical training, mental exercises, or taking on new challenges in your work or personal life. The drive to improve isn’t a one-time effort; it’s a lifelong commitment to bettering yourself, day after day.
By embracing challenges, believing in your capacity for growth, and maintaining relentless discipline, you set yourself on a path of continuous improvement. This journey is not just about reaching specific goals, but about becoming the kind of person who consistently strives for excellence, no matter the circumstances. The more you push yourself, the more you realize that your potential is limitless, and that every challenge is simply another step toward achieving greatness.
18. Live an interesting life
If you want to meet interesting people, you’re going to have to live an interesting life. The reality is, the quality of your life and the people in it are a direct result of the choices you make each day. If you find yourself surrounded by routine and predictability, it’s time to shake things up. The most engaging, inspiring individuals are often those who are out there pursuing their passions, challenging themselves, and embracing new experiences. If you want to attract those kinds of people into your life, you need to start living in a way that reflects those same values.
So quit defaulting to games and Netflix. It’s easy to fall into the trap of spending your free time in front of a screen, binge-watching shows or playing video games. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying these things in moderation, they can quickly become a crutch—a way to escape the mundane rather than truly living. If you spend most of your time indoors, plugged into a virtual world, it’s unlikely that you’ll encounter the kind of people who can add depth, excitement, and inspiration to your life.
Find an active hobby that gets you outside. The world is full of opportunities waiting to be explored—if you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone. Whether it’s hiking, cycling, rock climbing, or joining a local sports league, an active hobby not only gets you moving but also places you in environments where you’re more likely to meet like-minded individuals. There’s something about being outdoors, pushing your physical limits, and engaging with nature that brings out a deeper connection with yourself and others.
Not only will an active hobby improve your physical health, but it will also enhance your mental and emotional well-being. You’ll find yourself more energized, more focused, and more connected to the world around you. Plus, these activities often foster a sense of community—whether it’s the camaraderie of a running club or the shared challenge of a tough climb, you’ll naturally start to meet people who share your interests and passions.
The best connections are made through shared experiences. When you’re out there living an interesting life—trying new things, exploring new places, and continually challenging yourself—you naturally attract others who are doing the same. These are the people who will inspire you, push you to grow, and make your life richer and more fulfilling.
So, if you want to meet interesting people, start by becoming one yourself. Embrace an active hobby, step outside, and start living a life that’s worth talking about. The more you engage with the world around you, the more opportunities you’ll find to connect with others who are just as passionate about living life to the fullest.
19. Lift others up
As you strive to become a high-value man, you’ll naturally find that others start looking up to you. Your actions, discipline, and achievements will inspire those around you. But being a high-value man isn’t just about what you accomplish for yourself—it’s about how you impact those around you. This is where the true power of masculinity lies: in lifting others up.
Be a lighthouse to these people. Just as a lighthouse guides ships safely to shore, your presence should offer direction and reassurance to those around you. When others are struggling or feeling lost, your strength and stability can be a beacon that helps them find their way. This isn’t about telling people what to do; it’s about leading by example and being a source of positivity and encouragement.
Support them in their wins. Celebrate the successes of others as if they were your own. Genuine leaders recognize that someone else’s victory doesn’t diminish their own; it strengthens the entire community. When you cheer on others, you create an environment where people feel valued and motivated to continue striving for their best. This builds trust, loyalty, and a sense of camaraderie that is the foundation of true brotherhood.
Show them ways to improve. As you gain experience and wisdom, share what you’ve learned with others. Offer constructive advice, not in a way that criticizes, but in a way that empowers. Whether it’s in fitness, career, or personal growth, your insights can help others avoid pitfalls and achieve their goals more efficiently. Remember, true strength isn’t about holding power over others; it’s about using your power to lift them up.
Be genuinely happy and excited to see them. Charisma isn’t just about what you say or do—it’s about how you make others feel. When you greet someone with genuine enthusiasm and warmth, it shows that you value them. People are drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves. By being consistently positive and approachable, you naturally become someone others want to be around.
This is how you become charismatic. Charisma isn’t about being the loudest or most dominant person in the room; it’s about making others feel seen, heard, and appreciated. When you lift others up, you build relationships based on mutual respect and support. This not only enhances your own life but also creates a ripple effect that uplifts your entire community.
In essence, becoming more masculine isn’t just about physical strength or personal achievements—it’s about the strength of character to elevate those around you. By lifting others up, you not only solidify your position as a high-value man but also create a legacy of positivity and empowerment that others will aspire to follow.
20. Challenge Yourself
If you can knock out one thing that seems impossible, it changes your mindset on everything. The moment you conquer a challenge that once seemed insurmountable, something profound shifts within you. Your entire perspective changes. You realize that the limits you once thought were set in stone are actually just illusions—boundaries you can push past with the right mindset and effort. This is a powerful moment because it unlocks a new level of confidence and belief in your abilities. Suddenly, what once seemed daunting no longer feels out of reach.
What can’t you do? Once you’ve proven to yourself that you can overcome the impossible, you start to question every other limitation you’ve accepted in your life. What other goals have you been avoiding because they seemed too hard, too distant, or too far beyond your current abilities? What dreams have you shelved because you didn’t believe you could achieve them? When you break through one barrier, you begin to see that those other barriers are just waiting to be shattered.
Build up to it. Don’t be discouraged if the goal seems too big at first. Every major achievement is the result of countless small victories along the way. Start with what you can do, and then build from there. If your goal is to run a marathon, start by running a mile. If you want to lift a certain weight, begin with what you can manage today and progressively add more. The key is consistency and progression. Each small step forward is a building block toward the larger goal. Over time, these small steps accumulate, and what once seemed impossible starts to feel within reach.
Run farther. Lift heavier. Write longer. Whatever your goals are, continually push yourself to go beyond what you’ve done before. If you’re a runner, challenge yourself to increase your distance or improve your pace. If you’re into strength training, aim to add more weight or increase your reps. If writing is your passion, commit to writing more each day, developing your voice, and exploring new ideas. The point is to never settle for where you are today—always be pushing the envelope, striving for more.
Push yourself past your limits. True growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone. It’s in those moments of discomfort, strain, and struggle that you discover what you’re truly made of. Don’t shy away from the hard work; embrace it. The pain, the sweat, the frustration—these are the signs that you’re pushing yourself beyond your current capabilities, forging a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.
Reclaim your manhood! At the core of masculinity is the drive to grow, to conquer, and to constantly improve. By challenging yourself, you’re not just building physical or mental strength—you’re reclaiming your identity as a man. You’re embracing the innate desire to push boundaries, to overcome adversity, and to continually seek out new challenges. This is how you reclaim your manhood—by proving to yourself, day in and day out, that you are capable of more than you ever imagined.
In the end, the challenges you face aren’t just obstacles—they’re opportunities. Opportunities to prove to yourself what you’re truly capable of, to push your limits, and to reclaim your strength, confidence, and manhood. So don’t shy away from the hard things. Embrace them, conquer them, and let them transform you into the man you were always meant to be.
The handbook for young men everywhere who are lost and need direction and guidance in life.
It is never too late to change your life. What can you do today to improve yourself?
This book will
- Help you create your life mission
- Understand red flags in women
- Develop healthy habits
- Gain self-confidence
- Become a more interesting man
- Live a life of excellence
Challenge yourself by reading this book and implement its advice into your own life. I have 20 steps here for the modern man to make meaningful changes to his life as well as details about how to take these steps and put them into action.
Change your mindset. Change your life.
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We don't run to lose weight. We don’t run just to work out. Sure, those are benefits, but they’re not the reasons we lace up our shoes and hit the pavement or the trail day after day. Running transcends fitness goals and calorie counts. It’s not about shaving seconds off your mile time or staying in shape—though we all want those things, too. Running is about something deeper, something that goes beyond the physical.