The Life Changing Habit You Need to Start Today
The Life Changing Habit You Need to Start Today
“Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free. So drink.”
- Steven King, On Writing
Writing saved my life. The powerful, yet simple habit has helped me get my life in order, network with like-minded people online and even inspire others online. To learn more about the writing process, I just finished reading On Writing by Steven King, which I highly recommend to all writers.
“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.”
It’s inspiring to read these words from the famous author. Surprising even. But they echo my thoughts on the medium. I didn’t start writing to get laid, gain thousands of followers on twitter or even to make money. I started it to get happy, and maybe help a few frustrated men along the way.
How Did I Start Writing?
Back in 2017, my life was falling apart. I caught my wife stealing money to run off and do drugs. I initiated a divorce that started amicably but turned hostile quickly. My lawyer warned me this would happen but I let years of emotions blind me to reality. Between raising my son, dealing with the divorce system and working a job, my stress levels were through the roof.
Despite being an all-around stand-up citizen and remaining faithful in my marriage, I was zeroed out financially. Legal fees are expensive and even junkies get accustomed to a certain lifestyle it seems. The family court system is an absolute circus. Be very careful who you marry.
Fast forward to the end of the divorce process and I was left down a quarter million and about 6 months of my life. I was a little frustrated at the system. I nearly turned nihilistic or “blackpilled” as the kiddos say. But then my lawyer’s assistant recommend that I start writing in a journal. My macho mind first thought the habit was girly. But I was desperate. I mean, a man can only spend so much time in the gym.
That year I filled up an entire moleskin journal. It’s mostly hate, anger and poorly written anger at that! You don’t want to read it. But it helped me get happy. By getting all that emotion and frustration out of my head and onto that notebook, I began to feel better. It also helped me work through my writing process.
The first million words (or whatever amount) are usually terrible, but necessary to the writing process. When you first start, you simply need to practice and work through your process. A big reason why many writers gravitate to Twitter is that it offers instant feedback. You can post ideas and test whether they’re popular or not.
A Better Path Forward
After getting some writing under my belt, I wanted to share my frustrations and my solutions with other men in my shoes. One thing that I noticed during my divorce was there are very few good resources of actionable advice for men. There are a few decent sources for men, but many of them are either bitter or aimed solely at “spinning plates” or getting laid. I wanted more out of my life. Men deserve better. I was lost and didn’t know how to go about my life. I remember going on bike rides on Sundays instead of watching Football games like I used to do all day. After facing more serious problems, sports felt meaningless. Writing and exercise had filled that void.
Writing had helped me reflect on my habits and routines. Watching sports and playing video games had lost their meaning. Rather than finding escapism in sports and gaming, I was fully engaged and present. Where gaming felt meaningless, reading books had given me key insights into not only writing better but also living a better life.
Writing changed my life. I say this all the time. I recommend it all the time. I journal every day in one form or another. And the men in the Spartan Tribe have been doing this for the August Challenge. By implementing this life changing habit, they are taking control of their lives.
Path to Manliness was born out of pain and struggle, but so are men. Joseph Campbell talks about the Hero’s Journey which is a 12-step journey that’s shown in many of the most critically acclaimed movies, books and other tales. Your life likely echoes of this Hero’s Journey. And many of you get frustrated when you face hardship.
This Road of Trials is your opportunity for growth. If you can come out the other side, you should come out a stronger and better man. This is what being a man is all about. Facing these trials with the courage to know that you’ll be a better man for having gone through it.
“Some of this book – perhaps too much – has been about how I learned to do it. Much of it has been about how you can do it better.”
- Steven King, On Writing
Closing Thoughts On Writing
I didn’t start writing online to get famous or get rich. I started because I enjoy the process. It helps me maintain my sanity and it helps me get happy.
You should start writing today. If you feel lost or unhappy, start writing. If you want to introduce order to the chaos of life, start writing. If you don’t know how to get started, check out all the expert advice and prompts in this guide on journaling.
And once you’re ready to go online with your writing, something magical happens. People who share your ideas will come to you. They’re waiting for you to share ideas they hold quietly in their head. Your brotherhood is out there if you’re brave enough to share your ideas.
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