Pay Attention to What She Does, Not What She Says
Regardless of what she says, your girl hates boring. She wants excitement and intrigue.
Author: Ryan Felman
Writer, Spartan Racer, Self-Improvement Coach
Your relationship has gotten monotonous, predictable, unexciting. Not good. Every man has experienced this. Where there used to be sparks and electricity, now there is a dead bedroom.
Don't freak out! This isn't that hard to fix. In fact, this will also help you in making your own life more interesting.
I went on a trip a few weekends ago. It was for work and it meant I would be out of town for a couple nights. I extended this an extra night to go see an old friend who now lives in California. I rarely get the opportunity to hang out with him, so I made it work.
As old friends tend to do, we went out drinking and laughing and had a good time. Believe it or not, my life isn't full of obstacle course races and copywriting. Although, I did run a mud run the morning before driving to see my friends.... Anyway!
When I came back, my girlfriend was a little annoyed that I had gone out drinking. Not pissed, but she made a couple passive aggressive comments about how I went out drinking and having fun the whole trip. I did, but I also signed up a new client, saw old clients and drove 1,500 miles over the course of like 3 days. But I shrugged it off. Do you know why?
Her actions spoke louder than words. She was more adoring, more friendly, and much more liberal with her casual touching throughout the last couple weeks. She's been talking about how much she loves me and smiling more often. And of course she's been more passionate at night. Now why is she acting this way?
Well, because I shook up her routine. In long term relationships, things become predictable and boring. Regardless of what she says, your girl hates boring. She wants excitement and intrigue. She wants you to be interesting. She wants to see you getting out and fulfilling your mission!
Obviously I didn't do anything wrong while out of town. Although there was an opportunity with a pretty, long-haired blonde. She doesn't know about her, but she's surely wondering if I'm happy enough to stay faithful. Which I am, but this makes for a healthy dynamic.
You don't want your girl to be insecure unless you want a psychotic mess on your hands. But you do want her to know that you're a man with options. A man worth pursuing. A man who is desirable.
How do you stay desirable?
For starters, you need to take care of your appearance. Stay in shape or get in shape. Take care of basic grooming. This shaggy beard trend doesn't work unless you neatly trim it. Look to Rugged Legacy for more on that.
Dress like an actual adult. Lose the graphic tees and sports jerseys. You look like that dweeb in GTA V. Wear basic clothes that fit. You can't go wrong with a henley or a nice button down. Especially if you're in shape.
Shake up your routine. This can be done by going to the gym more often. Or waking up early for a run.
Hit the gym. If you're upset about a little weight gain from your partner, start losing weight yourself. You'll be surprised how often your girl will want to keep up her appearance as you get in shape. This is great and healthy for both of you.
Or start a new hobby. Maybe you take up kayaking or bowling. The dude abides. Whatever. Just quit being boring!
Get out of town for a couple days. This is best done for work. This gives your girl a chance to miss you and appreciate all that you do while home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And often times I see guys make themselves all too available. You need to be living your own life away from your girl. Give her a chance to miss you.
If you'd like to learn more about becoming a more interesting man, then check out my book, Reclaim Your Manhood. I used to be living a boring and average life.
I spent my weekends playing fantasy football, drinking beer and eating chicken wings. Now I run obstacle course races, take martial arts and write on a website that I built. You too can make your life more interesting.
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